For several years I was an active member of the Every Man’s Battle community. One thing I discovered while being a part of this group was that most guys like the idea of accountability, but don’t like the actual task of being held accountable. The truth is that many men who say they want help enjoy their sexual sin too much to give it up.
If you’re going to be on the internet you need something in place to help keep you accountable. Inaction will give the enemy an open door straight to your heart.
I know a guy who got caught by his wife while watching porn. We’ll call him Greg. Greg was up late almost every night after his wife and kids had gone to bed, and he would spend a couple of hours each night watching pornography. One night his wife got up to go to the bathroom, and she saw the light from the monitor flickering, and as she started to go towards the glow of the computer screen, she heard Greg, clicking frantically. The look on his face when he saw her told her more than she wanted to know. Devastated she told him to seek help or their marriage was done.
At church the next Sunday she came up to me (knowing my background and history) and asked me if I would help Greg. Greg stood there completely ashamed and admitted that he was struggling with it, and asked for help. As we began to talk, I asked if I could have a few minutes alone to talk to Greg and his wife stepped away. I told him I would love to meet with him each week, but I felt as though he needed to put something in place on his computer to help in the interim, and I pointed him to the X3Watch computer software, and told him I was more than willing to be his accountability partner. I sent him the link to the software, and didn’t hear from him for a few weeks.
Two weeks passed until I saw him at church. I asked him about the software and Greg told me that he never got the email, so I re-sent it. When I saw him that Wednesday night he proceeded to tell me that he couldn’t get the download to work. I put the software onto a cd and gave to him the following Sunday. He never installed it. For a few weeks afterwards, whenever he saw me at church he would avoid me entirely, sometimes walking the complete opposite direction whenever he caught a glimpse of me coming down the hall.
Greg was sorry he got caught, but not sorry for what he was doing to his marriage. He never sought help, and to my knowledge is still struggling with pornography today.
Being a man alone on the computer is a dangerous thing without accountability.